the zhaf speaks

Thursday, March 11, 2004:

driving license here i come!

pretty gd bday :) on the stroke of midnight i was promptly met with bday greetings from clara, mich, da and my older bro who was out. i'm eating breakfast later when i find an sms from lingling, that probably helped with my digestion that morning. think that resulted in overactive bowels during gp essay. i'm leaving for school when i get a call from my ol buddy ol pal red. haha he slows me down so i arrive late in school for gp common test which was good.
anyway after gp rencong hands me a nice froggie. oh yes weiming you are a lamer, feigning ignorance and the sudden enlightenment later on :). chicken curry at thai express was absofuckinlutely tasty. haha bumped into rumin at holland v, thanks for the wishes babe.
really stuffed myself subsequently when red treated me to far east plaza chicken laksa and later at supper gobbling the chicken chop howard recommended.
so anyway us three stooges, me howard and red watched this drama/dance production at ac before we headed down to lucky plaza. after supper me and howard shot some pool while red fraternized with *ahem* hahaha. howard was damn suay, the counter dick gave his ezlink to some other mofo. tough luck pal, but thanks so much for the treat.
thanks to everyone who brightened up my day :)

-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 5:12 am

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Monday, March 08, 2004:

heal dammit heal!

it's a good thing it's only the muscles and blood vessels that were affected. that big lump just above my ankle, between my left calf and shin, yea it's the human equivalent of traffic congestion on orchard road round about xmas season. a bloody freakin big and painful clot it is. and there's something like that too on my left thigh. part of the muscle feels as hard as a rock, wonder if it's just cadaverine muscle or something close to that. i have to, i must, i will recover quickly. or else.

-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 6:44 am

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Wednesday, March 03, 2004:

endeavour

"how does it feel like to compete knowing you'll get a medal?"
cj queried mel while the 3 of us walked to holland v. brought to mind the struggles on the track back in ri. some top 8 placings at nats here and there, but never a medal. no, inter house doesn't count. further ponderance led me to conclude that a medal isn't worth it's weight in gold. at all. just a little shiny bauble. nothing more. more important is everything you went through to get it. so now my inner cynic lashes out, dishing out the vitriol, accusing me of making excuses for failure. so failure's defined in such narrow terms huh. no medal = failure? one look at our group at nats and i knew immediately, we have a shot. but before i get ahead of myself we'll have to take it one step at a time. i have no inkling if i'll be one of the chosen 12. till then i'll still give my all, pushing through even with the debilitating handicap that is a screwy ankle. it will be worth it in the end, team or no. i hope. it's been a long and arduous journey and even as the terrain morphs into an undulating, chaotic miasma i refuse to drop out. i can i will i must go on. nothing but dust and shadows. that's all we are. oh to soar resplendently in life's currents and be illumed from within, if only.

in control for the most part. but the rudder on port side seems to be playing it's own tune, lacking synchronity with the rest of the vessel of me. events on the macro scale mirrored on a micro scale. i disengage and detach from the swirling haze of life and in turn a part of me chooses to rebel. fitting indeed.

-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 8:19 am

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Monday, March 01, 2004:

strain

i bide my time, patiently. i am accountable for the current state of affairs. it is not beyond salvation, it is not irreparable. despite all i've been doing that one important thing has permeated my thoughts throughout the day, nudging me in the back every few paces i tread. sometimes it feels unbearable but then i realise it's just some attachment i have to sever if i am to move forward and dare i say, grow up. no cowardice. no shame. no regret. i do what i must and have to do. i deny myself so much sometimes, but it is worth it because i can be so greedy sometimes. yes, biding my time... but enough of that it's time to bathe. and face a math test i am not very prepared for.

-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 1:34 pm

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